Life that was

My life has been a roller coaster ride, in my early days, 6th Standard I shifted to Delhi Public School Mathura Road from Mount St. Maries school.
At the outset I became friends with the person who now rolls with people who deal in drugs, sex, alchol and what not. He, I must say is now a complete gangster.
I fell in love with the girl of my dreams that day, maybe it was infatuation at that point of time, but there has been a phase in my life when all I thought about was her.
She used to like me then, I came to know that in 7th standard and I tried real hard to say it to her but I couldn't.
Well another year passed and in 8th standard I asked her out just because someone dared me infront of the whole class, I was a dumb person for accepting that dare. She refused, she didn't like the way, obviously.
She also didn't like the people I was with. I never knew this thing till a few days back, when I was talking to my best friend over msn, I realized what went wrong and why she never came back to me.
Life can be unfair at times, but that doesn't mean that one stops living life. Life goes on like a SIN wave, it goes to +1 at times and also touches -1 but then again goes to +1. I have been really depressed since like, 3 years now.
I have been living a fake life, wearing a fake smile, roaming about with fake people (that excludes you Phatnagar).
But I've finally realized that life cannot always be the way we want it to be. My soul-friend (thats what I will now call you as we have so much in common) has had a very hard life, but she did see good days and I hope she always does and I have to take this kind of inspiration from her, to stay happy, no matter what happens.
To fix my goals and achieve them and I have to control myself if I fail to achieve them. Life is unfair, after all.
We decided not to talk on a regular basis but decided to write each other emails on a particular date and if something special, something good happens and I just hope, I get regular emails from her and I keep conveying her what happens here regularly.
I never wanted any of this I swear, but then again, life is unfair and time is the best healer. We used to be kids when we started talking and I hope we stay best friends till we grow so old that we can't get up and walk no more.
She really has been a bright spot in this mess I made for myself, always guiding me through. People tend to make mistakes, I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I apologize for the wrong stuff that happened last year.
I just hope that you live a life that everyone dreams of living. A huge mansion, lots of limos, a fountain of sparkling water in front of the mansion door and what not. I'd like to credit her with the title 'The girl who saved my ass from going to hell'
Thank You
and I'll miss you :(